Saturday, November 14, 2009

what friendship means to me

greetings to all... I hope ur weekend is off to a good start..

today I wanna talk about friendship, what it means to me and the qualities I look for. Friendship to me is a difficult thing for me to understand sometimes.. I feel its something I need to "feel" rather than just the everyday xxchanges. What constitutes a real friend? Is there such a thing? How is the love of friends different to those of say, lovers?

Perhaps understanding friendship is just another one of lifes journeys.. all about discovery & truths. Its a whole other person to get to know and be comfy with. When meeting a potential friend, what traits do we look for? Do we go deep searching or stay superficial?

some of the things I look for in a friend are:

** sincerity.. by this I mean is genuine, real, human. I feel U more when U are genuine. U may have faults, fears, desires, we all do, but being true to yourself gets things off to a good start.

** honesty.. this is a very important trait I look for. Its honesty to yourself really, coz at the end of the day, its only yourself U are fooling if U are not. Friendship has no room for distruths.

** sharing.. I want to get to know you, warts and all. Friendship to me means going deep, breaking down barriers, sharing the good times and equally not so good times, we bond in that case.

** trusting.. this is a big one. Trust is sometimes a scary word.. esp if one has been burnt. However, I want to be able to trust you to tell U secrets, confide in you, be able to give and take constructive advise, and trust that you will be there.

** feedback.. trust & feedback go hand in hand. If I see things are not going right for you, and I can clearly see the reasons why, I will speak up. I want to be able to feel I can tell you when youve been quiet, whats the matter, distant. etc.. a true friend cares and will do so.

** praise.. I like to constantly remind you just how special you are, how beautiful you are, how happy you make me, and that I think of you. Its these lil things that mean alot. and keeps the friendship fresh and alive.

** time.. OK so your busy.. everybody is.. but theres NO excuse you cant spare time in your day to be with your friends. How is the friendship going to survive if you dont invest your time in making it flourish? Time to be there and show you care. Not because thats what is expected, rather, because you genuinely want to be.

** understanding.. another tough one but very important. We all are uniquely different, so we need to learn to accept and understand friends do, think and handle things in different ways. Would frienship survive if we didnt? I dont think it would go very far.

** acceptance.. is paramount. How can we be friends if I dont accept you as you are? also friends dont expect anything from you. They dont want to change you or put you down. They want to see you happy and smiling and at your best. So by allowing them to be themselves and accepting them, only then will you see the meaning of true friendship.

** respect.. in all areas. As a person, what they like or dislike, privacy, opinions, beliefs, etc. You have yours just as much as they have theirs, so a healthy respect goes a long way and shows U have tolerance which is essential